BMT 4th of July Kit
Let Freedom Ring You know me, I normally blog your ear off. I take a thing like opossums, something you have little to no interest in to start with, and I make you care. But that’s not enough, I have...
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What’s the difference between “Opossum” and “Possum”?
Opossum Opus Part 3 If you were with us on Part 1, you know that off the highway, opossums are sorta indestructible. If you made it through Part 2, you know their penises are hellish, their wombs...
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Bear Myths: Mothers & Cubs
Bears are America’s last great woods monsters. They’re the reason why we’re scared to sleep in the forest, why we pack heat in National Parks and why we have to watch Legends of the Fall every time...
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Bear Myths: Playing Dead
Most people don’t know how to survive a cougar pounce or weather a cloud of Africanized honeybees. But everybody knows you should play dead when attacked by a bear. And that’s what might get you...
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Bear Myths: Carnivore Carnage
People are afraid of bears. Rather, they’re afraid of bears’ stomachs. And being in them. Despite the evidence that most bears, in fact, eat very little meat – much less meat they, themselves have...
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What is a Blue Dragon?
The blue dragon is a sea slug that can steal the powers of its enemies. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. WTF Is That Thing: Nudibranch Edition Look. I’m a lot like you. I spend too much time...
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Is Ann Coulter A Parasite?
Like a lot of people this week, I’m searching for the right name to call Ann Coulter. During the final debate, Coulter referred to President Obama as “the retard” in a tweet. Two days later, John...
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What Causes the Seasons?
Judging by the thousands of artsy-filtered pictures of leaves on Instagram, the seasons in the Northern Hemisphere have shifted into fall. But does anyone remember the elementary school science lesson...
View ArticleYou Can’t Rape a Porcupine
And Other Dinner Conversation We interrupt this Bittel Me This to bring you breaking news: I just got a piece published on Slate.com. And it’s about porcupine sex. That means if tragedy befalls me and...
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On African Painted Dogs & Zoos
While visiting the Pittsburgh Zoo, a two-year-old child toppled into the African Painted Dog exhibit. In minutes, the boy was dead. No one denies the tragedy, but many have criticized that neither...
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How Dissecting Fireflies Could Lead to Better LEDs
Everybody loves a lightning bug. Which is why as an adult I regret murdering so many of them in my youth and running around the backyard howling with their abdomens smeared across my arms and face and...
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Bittel Me Elsewhere: A Slate.com Extravaganza
The bad news is I haven’t been posting on Bittel Me This very much over the last few months. The good news is I’ve had some other irons in the fire. Hold on to your butts for the first ever Bittel Me...
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Bats, Bombs, & Project X-Ray
So, I just wrote this article about bats over at Slate. It’s got go-go-gadget tongues, cuddly little vampires, lactating males, terrifying penises, and lots of other boring stuff you probably don’t...
View Article2013: Year In Review
A Message to the Faithful Readers of BittelMeThis You may have noticed that this blog has gone cold in the last year. For this I apologize. But it’s actually good news, as I’ve been off writing for the...
View ArticleSharks & Skulls, What’s Not To Like?
My, What A Lovely Skull You Have As I mentioned in my Year in Review post, I’ve started writing occasional pieces for the The Week. My first article takes us to the office of a forensic anthropologist,...
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Bittel Me Lately: Vicious Starfish, Barbary Sheep, & Weaponized Wabbits
Never miss another bangarang again! How Do You Weaponize a Rabbit? | “There are four major infectious agents that officials fear terrorists will turn into potent bioweapons. The first three you know —...
View ArticleBangarang Science & The Double Awesome Opossum
Welcome Readers of TheDodo.com! If you’ve just read the comic Adam Wilson and I made for TheDodo.com and want to learn more about the opossum, then you’ve come to the right place. (If you have no idea...
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Hello, Nat Geo
Hey, you guyyyys. After yet another long radio silence on this crumbling blog, I return with good news. I’ve started doing some stuff for National Geographic’s Newswatch and Weird & Wild blogs. Oh...
View ArticleHamster Cannibalism & Butterfly Bombs!
4 New Stories, For Your Reading Pleasure Bombs for Butterflies: There’s one really easy way to save the monarch butterfly migration, and it involves guerrilla warfare. OnEarth Polar Bears… FROM SPACE:...
View ArticleSquirrels Make Mushroom Jerky
Squirrels might be the most boring animals in the world. They live in parks and universities and backyards, they eat acorns and pilfer bird feeders. Hell, you probably don’t even brake if you see one...
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